Title: The Lucky Man (sequel to "At the Bright Pane Surrounded")
Author:
sageness
Fandom: DC/Smallville crossover AU
Rating: NC-17 (obligatory somewhat-disturbing content warning)
Summary: Lex copes as well as he can.
A/N: Written for the Free Verse Challenge. (unbeta'd, so all mistakes are very
much mine.)
There's so much more between us than
this table.
All those years, all those dreams, all those plans.
Guess you know without me saying I still love you,
But I've enjoyed as much of this as I can stand.
So you say you're happy now you've found a new love.
Tell him I said he's a lucky, lucky man.
No, I don't think I'll have time to see his picture.
I've enjoyed as much of this as I can stand.
~Bill Anderson, "As Much as I Can Stand"
The Lucky Man
Settling back in his armchair, Lex hits the replay again.
It's become something of a ritual, and his staff has learned to judge his mood
based on how much, and which parts, he watches. He personally oversaw the
editing of the master cut -- both the long and short versions, pouring over each
microcam's raw footage. Which he shouldn't have, just as he shouldn't be
watching the long cut again tonight.
He knows he should be working, never mind that it's after midnight and he's done
all the work he can until morning.
Still, he should be doing something more constructive than mentally composing
another pestering email to Happersen. Plotting to overthrow a major WayneTech
supplier for instance. Or at least undercut Wayne Enterprises' new aerotech
expansion. Right now, he should be undercutting Bruce in every way possible.
But he isn't, quite. At least, not since the knee-jerk takeover of a west coast
Wayne subsidiary the day after. That had been a mistake; he'd paid too much.
And maybe that's significant -- the new way he thinks of his life in terms of
before and after. It used to be before and after the meteor shower. Before and
after his mom's death. The island. Clark.
He watches, swirling his snifter of brandy. Unlike the ones in the bedroom and
study, this view-screen magnifies them precisely to life-size. The shots
inter-cut between Clark scrubbing at his neck in the shower and Batman nosing
through a dozen empty cabinets.
It was okay for it to be Lois. Clark's always had a thing for strident
reporters, and Lex could handle that. But it wasn't supposed to be Batman.
Isn't supposed to be Batman.
Bruce looks amazing for a mere mortal, though Lex finds the extent of the scars,
at best, unnerving. Especially considering the last time he had seen so much of
Bruce was almost twenty years ago, when they'd both been condemned to a prep
school at which rugby was akin to religion, and all boys were required to play.
Neither of them had stayed there long.
Lex is glad for the hair. And the scars. All the roughness about him that
defines the Batman -- and belies the smoothness of the Bruce Wayne façade. If he
and Bruce were more alike, it would make everything much more difficult.
As it is...it's been six months and eleven days, and his life has changed in
ways he never imagined.
They haven't been back to Clark's old apartment at all, even after Toyman had
sent them scrambling after killer rubber duckies in the river mere blocks away.
They haven't been anywhere he has cameras.
But they have been elsewhere. Fiji. Johannesburg. Sydney. Paris. Lex strongly
suspects there was once in Scotland, but the intel was spurious and Bruce had an
alibi. But then, Bruce *always* has an alibi. Unfortunately, there's no
effective way to monitor trips to the Fortress; its sensor distortion field is
(thus far) impenetrable.
He wonders about the Watchtower, but can't imagine them being anything less than
professional in those confines. They're both too good at what they do. Too
practiced at compartmentalizing their lives. And while Clark may tend to blur
the boundaries when it comes to relationships, Bruce would keep him in line.
Bruce has always kept him in line. Just a little glare when the hero-façade
threatens to slip. And vice versa. They do that for each other., and it makes
Lex's teeth hurt.
He hasn’t made a serious attempt on either of their lives since...before. Which
doesn't mean he hasn't found other ways to up the ante.
Of course, no one knows the true reason Lex Luthor is suddenly agreeing to
television interviews with reporters he's refused for years. Or why he
consistently steers the conversation to matters of respect, honor, and loyalty.
Inevitably, they bring up Superman. At which point, he gives them all his most
charming smile, and pauses mid-sentence to aim a meaningful glance straight at
the camera.
They think he's on a crusade. That always makes him smile.
Fiji happened the day after his first primetime interview.
Bruce has apparently kept it out of Gotham, so it's highly unlikely that anyone
-- League, little-bat, Lois, or otherwise -- suspects them of anything. Which
vaguely reassures Lex against the absurd fear that they're 'dating'. Or that
there could be anything between them besides the same old desperate need he
can't help re-watching.
Because Clark still loves him. The proof is in the video.
Sometimes that's the only part he watches. He knows it's the only part that
matters. Clark can go to whomever he wants for solace, but in the end, he can
never get away. Not completely. Whether Lex baits him or not.
Which should mean more. Less. More. After all they went through together. Clark
swooping to his rescue. Lex bailing him out. Clark storming in, calling him out
with his farm-bred ethics. As if he'd never helped his father put down sick or
wounded livestock. Clark has never understood that defeating an opponent well is
an equal sort of mercy.
He never wanted to be Clark's opponent.
Lex dials up the volume on the comparison Bruce forced and feels his stomach
clench, just like always. He could kill him for doing that to Clark...but if he
did, Clark would never forgive him.
Clark has a type. Not the chirpy security of his girl-friday reporters, but
rather, the kind he truly falls for.
Lex is Clark's type. He's watched it over and over in the boys he picks for his
rebounds - seductive, adamant, self-reliant, imbalanced enough to seem
interesting, inexplicably needy. Bruce is all that and more.
But Lex is haunted by the longing in Clark's eyes. There, in that look, when
Batman yanks him back into the moment. And Clark's eyes stop darting between
cameras.
Bruce shouldn't be the proxy.
Although...Bruce does consider turnabout fair play. At least inasmuch as Clark
plays proxy in turn. And from the way Clark had cleared his schedule, he
suspects Paris had more to do with Bruce than Lex's four minute appearance on
World Financial News.
Which is a positive sign...when his priorities are rooted firmly in place.
From time to time, he entertains the notion of seducing Nightwing. Not that he
particularly wants to, but it would be amusing to drive home the point, so to
speak. And the challenge of it would be delightfully sweet...although sometimes
he wondered if a simple "Wanna fuck?" would do it. But, no, the boy's too slim,
too acrobatic, a poor substitute for what he craves.
He still doesn't know whether Clark confessed to Bruce about the bugs. He can't
imagine that Bruce somehow knew, but remained indifferent. Unless it were meant
to be yet another comment on Lex's relevance to Clark's present life. And if
that were the case...except that hindsight could create the illusion of
connections that hadn't been present at the time. It was maddening.
Onscreen, Clark's nipples are the same dusky rose-brown as ever. His hair is
shorter than it used to be, but it suits him. His erection is dark, enduring,
and he's writhing under Bruce's touch, and...fuck. Clark's as much bad news as
ever.
But he doesn't mean that, not really. He needs to remember. He needs to figure
out where he fucked it all up.
Back in prep school, the first time he did anything harder than pot, before he'd
learned how to handle loss. He was still trying to bury his mom, Julian, and
Pamela in that first pipe. Even his father, as that was about when he'd realized
that even in grief, reaching out to Lionel was an utterly lost cause.
Rehab had shown him. And the island. The breakdown later. A depth of need beyond
what any man alone could bear.
And then, Clark saving him over and over, whether he wanted to be or not. He
never could get free of that. Of Clark.
Once, only once, long after everything had imploded on them, he'd called Martha.
It had been a few years since he'd spoken to her, but with Martha that never
seemed to matter. She'd told him she still loved him. That he was still a member
of the family in her heart, no matter what happened.
It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He'd said something nasty about Clark in
reply...and she'd only sighed. He missed her. Even if she hated what he'd
become...she knew where he'd come from better than almost anybody.
Maybe it helped that she had never directly saved his life. She'd never
foolishly imagined she was somehow responsible for it.
Clark and Bruce, Bruce and Clark. Lex takes a long sip of his drink, letting the
burn heat his chest as he watches them move together on sheets he'd picked out,
in a bed he'd repeatedly caused Clark to break. It's an endless nightmare. A
disaster waiting to happen, even if they are only fuck-buddies...and what a
hideous term to use in reference to Superman and Batman.
Lex still laughs when the media call them 'world's finest'. Naturally, their
people had jumped on it, trademarked it, launched a World's Finest merchandising
campaign. Not a bad power play, actually. They're everywhere, larger than life,
awe-inspiring. On one hand, it's cartoonish; on the other, it's pushed their
intimidation factor through the stratosphere.
It's especially irksome because he knows Bruce has read enough Orwell to
acknowledge the gamble. It's cold comfort that one of the SuperBat-approved
charities promotes literacy.
They're so insidious now that every late night talk show host has a throwaway
line that starts, "So, what do you get if you cross Superman with Batman...." It
always gets a laugh.
Lex doesn't laugh. A large part of Clark still hasn't begun to think of himself
as more than an overgrown kid wanting desperately to be liked. And Bruce, in
addition to his regular neuroses, is occupied with his new boy. Already a Robin,
and not even out of junior high school yet.
Which perhaps casts new light on Bruce's...motivation with Clark. Training a
thirteen-year-old would be stressful, especially after the way he lost the last
one. Bruce has always been plagued by ghosts...and Clark has an uncanny ability
to hold the demons at...no. He won't think about that.
Lex watches them doze, semi-entwined, onscreen. The two of them *are* friends,
as much as Bruce can be friends with anyone. Clark was desperate, and Bruce was
willing. Continues to be willing. It doesn't mean there's anything more to it.
Not necessarily.
Stress relief doesn't need to be anything more than physiological. Except
there's still the fact of their afterwards -- and pillow-talk is another term
that should never apply to them. But that kiss. The hesitant little kiss Bruce
gave him on waking.
A tiny, nerve-wracking kiss. As if Bruce would ever come out. As if there could
ever be a place in Bruce's life for a Clark. Batman's life barely has room for a
Superman. No, they're simply each other's safety net. Proxies. Surrogates. To
take the edge off what they won't let themselves have.
Lex can deal with that. And besides. He has the sheets.
Hope had brought them up before he'd even finished the first replay. Lex
shivers, remembering the smell when he opened the seal on the bag. The mixed
scent of them. The fabric soft in his hands. The mouth-watering familiarity of
them, rutting on the monitors from three different angles. Best of all, their
come was still wet.
They don't yet know about the tiny genetic miracle growing in the lab. They
won't know for a couple of years yet, if all goes well, and by then...well, this
is going to change everything for all of them. Especially given the right mental
programming, and Happersen already has Packard at work on the process.
Then, if the acceleration phase goes as planned, the other two await, still in
embryo.
Lex watches Bruce, back in uniform and studiously ignoring Clark's nudity -- a
crisp goodbye and a jump-line dive off the balcony rail. Bruce will adapt, might
even be secretly pleased. After all, he has much more experience dealing with
young people. Clark will have to learn.
He thinks no one would blame him for wanting to redefine 'world's finest'. It
wouldn't even be infringement, technically.
Of course, Bruce might as easily kill him. Though he'd somehow managed not to
kill the Joker for so much worse, so it's unlikely that he'd kill Lex for making
new life out of what they'd wiped on a sheet.
And Clark would protect him. Probably.
Bruce might very well kill him, but at least he would understand. Bruce is
always there, even when he's not. Because of the damned superhero dolls and toys
and breakfast cereals. Because of the League, and the constant corporate warfare
between WayneTech and LexCorp. And most of all because of Clark.... Because
Clark lets him in where he's shut Lex out.
But he's not going to think about that, either. He has to think about what he
can control, not what he can't.
Clark grinds against the bed, face pressed into Bruce's pillow. Lex is still
trying to decide whether to age the babies equally, as artificial triplets, to
bring the second two on as twins, or to stagger them all like normal brothers.
Packard assures him that he can tweak it during acceleration.
Fully lit by the lamp, Clark's eyes are very green, full of love and sad
longing. This is Lex's favorite part, the part he hates the most. Life-size
Clark kneeling before him, jacking himself for him, making love to him through
the camera. Giving him everything he can no longer give. Twisting the knife and
then soothing it better, because despite it all, Clark still loves him.
And that, in the end, is what did it. Those wide green eyes, offering him
everything he could, no matter that it would never be enough. For the first time
in a very long time, Lex has both the means and the will to make something good,
pure, and real. Something more important than anything else he's ever attempted
-- something that will be so much bigger and better than 'world's finest' ever
could be.
Most important of all is that he's made it with love. Clark will understand
that. Bruce will figure it out one day, maybe.
Eventually, Bruce might even appreciate the poetry of it. The three of them in
various combinations: allies, opponents, lovers, partners, rivals, friends. They
have so much history among them, and so much history yet to be made, even as
enemies.
This is the legacy that matters. Six halves. Three boys. Their sons.
It's a perfect parallel. The motherless borne of the motherless: half-alien,
half-mutant, and half-human -- half-Kent, half-Luthor; half-Luthor, half-Wayne;
half-Wayne, half-Kent.
It's a geneticist's wildest dream. It's the best thing he's ever done.
He knows exactly which expression will cross Clark's face when he finds out that
he's a father, though that won't happen for years yet, per the current plan. Lex
can only imagine how Bruce will react to the news.
Hopefully, he won't kill him. He can't wait to see what the boys will look like,
to find out what they'll be able to do. All of them, of course, but especially
his and Clark's son. He's impatient for the day he can hold him.
The final frame tracks Superman's lift-off from the terrace, freezes, and fades
away. Lex smiles. They have so very much to look forward to.