Title: Hallelujah

Author: aelora
Fandom: Smallville (AU)
Pairing - Lex/Superwoman
Disclaimer - Not mine, though the concept of Superwoman/Hudson Clark Kent is.

I'll give her up if I have to, though.
Summary - Lex's love for Hudson is never-ending.
Author's notes - For the Free Verse Challenge. My lines were:

Your heart plays blood-catch
Inside your veins.
Your eyes are still warm, like beds
time has slept in.
Your thighs are two sweet yesterdays,
I'm coming to you.
All hundred and fifty psalms
roar hallelujah.
-Six Poems for Tamar by Yehuda Amichai

Hallelujah

I shouldn’t want her the way that I do. I shouldn’t feel hope every moment that she’s near me. I shouldn’t want to be a part of her life.

But, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. It’s all I still want.

Even when I see her, soaring high above the city, and the people cry out her name with love, I hate her. I hate what she represents. More than anything, I hate what she’s taken from me. My life, my dignity, my pride, my very soul.

And yet, when she’s near, when she’s in the room or on the balcony or sitting in the press room, waving her hand for a question, the blood seems to boil in my veins. I can smell her, taste her, feel her soft, downy skin beneath my fingers – and she's not even near to me. For all that has passed between us, for the lies and the pain and the hate and the pure, beautiful rage she’s caused me to feel, I still need her in my life.

Her world sings to me- beautiful songs of yesterday, when the world was still slightly golden and my future still bright. Lazy afternoons on leather couches in sun-drenched rooms reading poetry, sharing in laughter, drifting off in one another’s arms. I can hear her whispering to me, naughty words that she would never speak aloud, even naughtier promises hidden in the depths of her sea-green eyes. The sound of her heartbeat as I nestled my head between her perfect breasts, thrumming her life’s blood in rhythm to my own, beating in soft cadence to the tune of our time together.

Once she was my savior, my angel, a shimmering being with haloed hair and invisible wings. She was going to save me. And she did, time and time again until the saving became the act of our love.

She’s grown up now, and her attention has turned to saving the world. She’s their savior, their angel, their being of light. But, they don’t know her. They don’t know the truth of what she is, or who she is, or that she belongs to me. She always will.

But, she hasn’t forgotten. And neither have I.

And as she walks through those balcony doors now, I know I don’t plan on ever allowing her to forget. Time passes and we grow older and colder and golden fades to silver. Still she comes back to me, seeking to be saved in her own way, a saving that no one else can offer her. The mantle of world’s savior falls from her shoulders as she kneels before me, and she is my angel once more, promises of past and future in her glowing gaze as she looks up to me. I touch her face, and feel her warmth steal through me, and the present melts away in faded colors.

Her lips caress my skin as I gather her into my arms, pressing into her soft flesh with my cool fingers, remembering all that’s been lost. Promises in her eyes that I know won’t be kept, and it doesn’t matter now. Because for this moment, her blood is my blood, her flesh is my flesh, and I’m encased safely inside of her world.

No words are spoken. No words are needed. No more beautiful prayer could be offered up to Heaven, than the faint cries that issue from her throat as I silently remind her she will always be mine.